I wonder sometimes, what life is? Where am I? Who I am? What am I up to? What am I doing with my life?
I seriously can’t forget that moment, when I saw the death so close to me. She came and touched me, smiled at me and had my soul for the moment.
She was so pure yet terrific, so calm yet rude, so beautiful yet painful, so heavenly yet horrified.
I realized the meaning of life and I could see the whole life in front of my eyes. I could feel the beats turning low, my blood running slow, my veins screeching my skin, and my skin melting slow.
I was watching the movie, movie that was my story, story that I couldn’t end, a life that I couldn’t mend.
Death came closer and took my heart away. I could feel no pain. My brain could not understand the scene and all I could see was the tears rolling down my eyes but I was feeling no pain.
Then I came to know the reason for this. The reason was, death had my heart and it was she who owned those tears. It was she who owned all my fears. I was calm but death was not. Death could see the catastrophe of my broken dreams. Death was crying my pain out of fear. She was sitting on the rock. I asked her to take me away for the reason I was caught.
She held my hand and gave me my heart. She said that I am supposed to see what she saw and felt. For I have been refrained from the life so long. I was already dead.
She told me that I should live and should understand what life actually is. It is not the pain or the gain. It is about living everything whether good or bad. It is to realize that none is yours and everybody is yours.
Life is beautiful, if we want to see it and feel it beautifully. It depends upon the attitude, what we see and what we feel is totally a choice. I remember those days, I was in pain, or better say I was in death. I used to get paralyzed by the thoughts. I used to remain numb every time. I wouldn’t say that I was living in hell because the hell was within me.
To be continued…
Oak Teller: Aayushi Banotra